Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize