I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I could fuck to npr.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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