yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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