Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
we're making bets on your personal life
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
