my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
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