i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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