I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize