people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Randomize