i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I didn't notice because vodka
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
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