I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize