help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
