im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
