this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
