Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
