After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
