From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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