He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
