Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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