Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
