Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
