i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
