I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Randomize
