i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
