Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
