OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
