Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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