he wants to bone in the snuggie
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
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