I hate your face
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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