I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize