dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
