you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
