So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
