I wanna passion pit in your ass
she looked like the before picture.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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