So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
