I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
FUCK WHALES
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