we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
