honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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