I just saw a hot homeless man
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
there is glitter all over my balls
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