At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
this will be a night to untag.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
