Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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