Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
