just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
