Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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