Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
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