doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
