Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
All the doctor said was why
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
