we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
