return my video game
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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