it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Randomize
