The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
