if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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