Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
