i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
birth control should be required to get into college
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
