Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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